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When Boundaries bleed - Reuben and Bilhah

Boy that’s your step mother


The story of Reuben is an interesting one. These are the men who are the descendants of whom God said And I will make of thee a great nation, and I will bless thee and make thy name great; and thou shalt be a blessing (Gen. 12:2). These are the men through whom all nations of the earth were to be blessed.
When Laban took Leah, outsmarted Jacob and gave her to him, and he made him work 7 more years for Rachel, the seeds of iniquity, greed, and transgression was sown. Here is Laban capitalizing on his daughters and taking advantage of his country’s customs with his  Gen. 28:26 And Laban said, “It must not be so done in our country, to give the younger before the firstborn. When that was done Laban’s girls and there heirs were ear marked for a life time of struggles. But as we have shown niether custom nor culture should superseed covenant and calling. And when we try to go contrary to God's will by using culture or custom, God intervenes.


Reuben was Leah’s daughter, the first son to be born of Jacob, by right the birthright was his. He had three other brothers by his mother Leah. Simeon, Levi. And Judah before Rachel could muster the tiniest embryo. For God had shut up Rachel’s womb because God saw that Rachel was loved and Leah was hated.

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We have another exciting case of the attempt of man to supercede calling by culture  

I was musing on the case of custom and culture vs calling and covenant. That is Joseph attempting to Switch his father's hands in Gen. 48 in the blessing of Ephraim and Manasseh. 

Now that’s a rich moment—Genesis 48 is dripping with tension between cultural expectation and covenantal disruption. Joseph’s instinct to correct Jacob’s crossed hands is a classic case of custom clashing with calling.

The Switch: Culture vs Covenant

Joseph, operating from primogeniture logic—the cultural norm that the firstborn (Manasseh) gets the greater blessing—tries to “fix” what looks like a mistake. But Jacob, nearly blind yet spiritually sharp, says:

“I know, my son, I know.” — Genesis 48:19

That’s not confusion—it’s prophetic clarity. Jacob is intentionally subverting the cultural script to honor God’s sovereign choice. Ephraim, the younger, is elevated—just like Isaac over Ishmael, Jacob over Esau, and Joseph over Reuben.

🧠 What’s Really Happening?

  • Joseph’s gesture reflects cultural conditioning: order, hierarchy, tradition.

  • Jacob’s crossed hands reflect covenantal insight: divine reversal, prophetic foresight, grace over entitlement.

It’s a moment where calling overrides custom, and covenant trumps culture. Jacob isn’t just blessing grandsons—he’s reframing legacy. Ephraim becomes the dominant northern tribe, and the phrase “May God make you like Ephraim and Manasseh” becomes a blessing formula in Israel.

This scene  shows how ritual acts (like blessing) are shaped by cultural norms, but also how God’s covenantal purposes can disrupt those norms. It’s a theological case study in:

  • Symbolic inversion

  • Divine election vs human expectation

  • The tension between tradition and transformation

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This brewed frustration, depression and suicidal thoughts. It is she who said “Give me children, or I die”. Jacob had had  4 children with Leah so it clearly wasn’t Jacob’s fault. But the blame game raised its head. So frustrating was it that  in a last ditch effort  like her Grand Mother in Law Sarah she decided to give Jacob Bilhah her hand maid to raise up children for her. How slowly do they learn.

Rachel had two sons. Joseph and Benjamin. On their way to Bethlehem Rachel died and called her last son Benoni – the son of my Sorrow, reflecting how difficult this marital life must gave been for, thanks to her father Laban. Jacob caked him Benjamin, the son of my right hand. However  the death of Rachel triggered Reuben’s long desire to be the patriarchal head. According to the customs and culture of that day when it is desirable to usurp an authority a practice was to sleep with the boss’s woman. Rachel was dead, her two favourite sons were now Daddy’s favourite and what’s next but his favourite wife’s hand maid will become his favourite wife.  So he demeaned her by sleeping with his fathers concubine. Reuben did not help his cause either when itb was discovered that he was party to the crime perpetrated by his brothers

Jacob noted the transgression of the boundary and God noted it. On his deathbed Jacob pronounces a curse on Reuben  Gen, 49:3 “Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power. 4 Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel, because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it; he went up to my couch. Reubens birthright was give to Joseph. And Reuben did not find Grace in the eyes of the Lord either. Hundreds of years later God is to record Leviticus 18:8.

This brewed frustration, depression and suicidal thoughts. It is she who said “Give me children, or I die”. Jacob had had  4 children with Leah so it clearly wasn’t Jacob’s fault that Rachel was baren. God was in the story. He had shut up Rachel's womb because he saw the Leah was hated. But the blame game raised its head. So frustrating was it that  in a last ditch effort  like her Grand Mother in Law Sarah, she decided to give Jacob Bilhah her hand maid to raise up children for her. How slowly do they learn.
Rachel had two sons. Joseph and Benjamin. On their way to Bethlehem Rachel died and called her last son Benoni – the son of my Sorrow, reflecting how difficult this marital life must gave been for her, thanks to her father Laban. Jacob called him Benjamin, the son of my right hand. However  the death of Rachel triggered Reuben’s long desire to be the patriarchal head. According to the customs and culture of that day when it is desirable to usurp an authority a practice was to sleep with the boss’s woman. Rachel was dead, her two favourite sons were now Daddy’s favourite and what’s next but his favourite wife’s hand maid will become his favourite wife.  So he demeaned her by sleeping with his fathers concubine. Reuben did not help his cause either when it was discovered that he was party to the crime perpetrated by his brothers against Joseph.
Jacob noted the transgression of the boundary and God noted it. On his deathbed Jacob pronounces a curse on Reuben  Gen, 49:3 “Reuben, thou art my firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength, the excellency of dignity, and the excellency of power. 4 Unstable as water, thou shalt not excel, because thou wentest up to thy father’s bed; then defiledst thou it; he went up to my couch. Reuben's birthright was given to Joseph. And Reuben did not find Grace in the eyes of the Lord either. Hundreds of years later God is to record in Leviticus 18:8. The nakedness of thy father’s wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father’s nakedness.  This shameful family scandal started way back when Laban sowed the seeds of covetousness and greed without any regard to the pain and suffering it would cause his daughters or, the envy and strife among his grandchildren.
Maybe in the eyes of Reuben this was not a great aberration that why there is no record of his repentance. But the scripture records that sin by the commandment might become exceeding sinful. By the time Absalom came around and tried the same thing 2 Sam. 16:22 So they spread Absalom a tent upon the top of the house, and Absalom went in unto his father’s concubines in the sight of all Israel,   the commandments was there waiting on him in Lev. 18:8 The nakedness of thy father’s wife shalt thou not uncover: it is thy father’s nakedness.  No wonder why he died hanging from a tree with three darts driven through his heart (2 Sam. 18:14).When boundaries bleed the boundary breaker bleeds also.

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God is constantly monitoring and correcting if neccessary the behaviour of mankind who several times are led to derail god's plan.

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